Dear Lucifer, I’m a professional athlete in a sport that shall remain unnamed. As jocks go, I’m pretty good. On a 1 to 10, I’d rank myself at a solid 7. I’ve just been quietly approached by a man who’s offering to hook me up with a new, (highly illegal) ‘breakthrough’ performance-enhancing drug. Apparently, this… Read More

Yo Lucifer, So, I work as a ‘muscle’ for Bubba Bolinski, the local mobster. My girlfriend thinks I deliver pizzas, which gives me the excuse to be out late, making surprise house calls on the douche bags that have gotten on the wrong side of Bubba’s good graces. (Note to self: Don’t ever be late… Read More

Note from Jackson: Well, damn… I was hoping I’d have this website to myself, but it looks like Lucifer is butting in with his ‘anti-social media’ advice column. I apologize ahead of time for his snarky, dubious ‘guidance’. Just sayin’…… Read More