Dear Lucifer,

I’ve been a student on a spiritual path for decades.  Recently, I broke away from the Teaching that I’ve been following all these years and set myself up as a guru in my own right. With so many new ‘seekers’ out there, it didn’t take me long to start attracting a following. Here’s the problem…

As I sit there, gazing out at my rapidly expanding group, I’m becoming ever more aware of how they’re just handing me over their power! And let me tell you…it’s intoxicating! I can see it in their faces, in their wide-eyed expectation, the way they hang onto my every word, that they believe I hold the key to what they seek. But  come on! Enlightened? Moi? They’ve gotta be kidding!

So, my conscience is telling me I need to be honest with my flock and straighten them out regarding my own glaring limitations.  I just can’t fake it, let alone ‘feather my nest’ by abusing the ‘hero worship’ pouring onto me.  On the other hand, I keep wondering…am I looking at this wrong? Am I missing something?

Glorified Guru


Dear Glor,

Missing something? Yeah… the point! ! First off, if nature teaches us anything, it’s that nests are meant to be feathered!  Ask any bird, for chrissake!  Look…you’re involved in a very simple formula. People seeking spiritual guidance, especially early on, are naturally going to project all kinds of attributes onto the ‘special one’ they think has the answers, right? (That would be you, if you’re paying attention.)

Don’t look at it as though you’re taking advantage of their naïveté. Think of it more as a ‘win-win’. They get to happily imagine that they’re in the ultra-capable hands of a true guide. You, (if you’re clever), get to experience the heady brew of being seen as an exalted font of wisdom…with all the juicy perks that go along with that role!

Where’s the problem? Okay…go ahead and tell your growing ‘flock’ that you’re actually, to a large degree, faking it. Spill your guts and you’ll soon be pontificating to your lonesome self, gazing out at a room full of empty chairs, as everyone will have scattered elsewhere, as they’re now off following some other self-proclaimed ‘master’.

Come on! You apparently know enough to sound  like you’re the ‘real deal’, so bluff it out! Here’s a tip! Should you eventually get busted for being far less than advertised, tell them, with a miffed and patronizing air: “The lower cannot understand the higher”.  That usually works (for awhile) and should get you some extra mileage. Don’t quit now, dude!

Remember…quitters never win, and winners never quit. So what idiot came up with “Quit while you’re ahead”?